I’ve been praying for a moment of conviction in this walk toward the Called United Methodist General Conference. Too often I’ve talked, been in meetings, shared stories and information thinking that the conviction I was seeking had to do with the future direction of the institution of The UMC, even though it is clear that the institution has to change. My mind has been focused on the details: definition of marriage, ordination demands, funding of ministries, pensions, connection of local churches to the larger body. You can get lost in those details. God can get lost in those details.
A short time ago, in the middle of this dark night, there was a revelation. This journey is not about specific votes that will be cast and counted over the next week. This journey is mine to walk toward God. It is a journey for each of us who call ourselves United Methodist to walk toward God.
Most people will say, just as the Associated Press did yesterday in an article, that we are about to cast our votes to decide the future of the denomination. Yes, that is the earthly process. Yet tonight, in the stillness of these early morning hours, I have finally realized that for me this is about how I see the call of God on my life. How do I walk forward toward the God I want to reflect in the world through my faith in Jesus Christ?
So tonight, despite all my years of talking about it, I finally realize what all this is about.
This is not a vote on full participation of persons who are LGBTQ+ in the life of The United Methodist Church. This is a personal witness as to how I see Jesus’ call to be Beloved Community at work in the world. It is my testimony about how Jesus came into my heart and called me to be a part of living his message in order to leave the world better for those I walk with and for future generations.
It’s not about the Wesleyan Covenant Association desiring a more traditional church or the Love Your Neighbor Coalition advocating a more progressive theology. It’s about Martha learning to walk amid all the voices, better define her understanding of this man named Jesus, and realize that God calls us all to be community together – Beloved Community together – where I have been called to a role based upon my understanding of scripture, the traditions of the church that I hold dear, my personal life experiences and my times of clear reasoning – as few as they may seem these days.
It’s not just about gender identity and sexual orientation. It’s about sexism, racism, ageism, colonialism, ableism, lookism, sizeism and all the other -isms. God has never called us to be divided, but we have over centuries created multitudes of separation. This journey is about Martha learning to live differently – as a Christian called to bring forth the Kingdom of God here on this earth right now.
It’s not about preserving an institution. If a decision comes that might change my participation in The United Methodist Church as I know and love it, I will grieve. I will mourn. I am United Methodist to the core. If the denomination splinters, a part of me will die. If I am called to leave, a part of me will die. I’ve been considering that possibility for years and only in the last few months have I truly realized that even if the denomination changes drastically, my foundations of faith will not. I will still believe that faith and social action must go hand-in-hand. I will still believe that John Wesley had it right when he preached that we had to care for the whole person in order to help people hear the Gospel message. I will still believe in grace. I will still know that God’s got all this stuff and my job is to figure out how to live in the example of Jesus.
It’s not about a vote – no matter how many people tell me it is. It’s not about who will leave or who will stay – no matter how many people tell me it is. It’s not about apportionments or church attendance numbers. It’s not about doctrine or the church’s constitution. It’s about my role and yours in the Body of Christ, not an individual building or polity of a particular denomination. It’s about coming to understand who God is calling me to be as I try to move on toward perfection. And boy will that still take a tremendous amount of work and energy.
The Spirit’s got a lot more work to do in me.
Stilll Walking Martha Home 
Awesome revelation Martha. Thank you for your service and commitment to Jesus Christ 1st and His calling to be a disciple and go make disciples and to leading in these people called United Methodist who have been called apart for holiness in order to build the Kingdom of God here on earth as it is in heaven.
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Sometimes I think we do the right things for the wrong reasons and sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons. Sometimes we complicate what are calling is. When i was young I know as kids we were excited about getting to see our friends when we went to church. In Sunday School we would listen to a story about Jesus and One Key Message was normally taught. It was a great time not because of our religion but because of the comfort and good times. Our teachers were mostly older ladies or so it seemed and there would be one main message but the real lessons learned was how to get along, a Message about Jesus or Champions in the Bible. The overlying message as I recall was to love one another as Jesus loves us. Sometimes I think we complicate things by trying to live the perfect lives. Its not going to happen and almost every person in the Bible had a problem. The church was at we had a pretty good group of kids or young adults if you will and we did a lot of things together. A bunch of sang in the choir and sometimes during the service we would pick somebody out of the congregation to stare at. Talk about excitement. Too funny. You know we were the same kids that went to MYF and on Sunday afternoons would do something together. These things kept us coming and we would usually learn something along the way. As amazing as it seems alot of us have stayed in touch through the years and we’re in our soon to be late 60s. I guess the reason I decided to post a comment is because we are too good to not get along and let something like this break the church. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and none of are perfect. I as a person happen to believe that we should be inclusive even though there are some things happening that don’t sit well with people. Perhaps Jesus realised that when he chose his disciples. I takes all different kinds of people to get that story out there to all the people. I guess what I’m saying is just keep working to spread the word. The Lord will take care of the rest.
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Thank you for sharing Martha! While I am no longer a member of a Methodist church, I AM very interested in what happens with this. As you said, ” my foundations of faith will not. I will still believe that faith and social action must go hand-in-hand. I will still believe that John Wesley had it right when he preached that we had to care for the whole person in order to help people hear the Gospel message. I will still believe in grace. I will still know that God’s got all this stuff and my job is to figure out how to live in the example of Jesus.” This is where I am currently. I just struggle to connect in the Methodist Churches closest to me.
The reality is this is a complicated, messy, emotional, and challenging issue, but it is one that should be discussed! I am so glad that they have taken the time to focus on the conversation around such a tough subject. Personally, I still struggle with the issue, but in the end, we are called to love…no matter what!
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